I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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