you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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