Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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