Please, let me fuck your mom
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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