I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i barfeds in our rink
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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