Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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