This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
