i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
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