Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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