carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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