Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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