The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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