My hand turned me down
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
