This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
