You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's Friday. Sex?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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