Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
