you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think my vagina is haunted
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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