my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
where does the pee come out of this thing
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Randomize
