i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
