A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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