Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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