"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my phone needs a breathalizer
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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