no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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