She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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