Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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