At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
