Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
