Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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