i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
