We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize