If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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