I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
