just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
