She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
