I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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