You're completely useless in the revolution.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
