If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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