i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Randomize