she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
