You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
