he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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