dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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