why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
