yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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