wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
