I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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