Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
