grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
