im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
