Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize