i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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