Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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