My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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