I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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