I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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