the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
