He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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