I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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