YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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