Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are we still banned from the library?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
