I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
