that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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