my vag is so smooth its legendary
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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