Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
